2 October 2010


Mother, if there shall be more cold and lonely nights to come,
sew a blanket around my heart
and tell me it'll soon be alright.

I've always liked cold rainy days or nights, it gives me a peace of mind. I liked to hear the sound of rain, I liked how the weather turns from bright to dark. I liked being with no one else but myself, isolated and I felt safe. Thinking about myself and just dream. I liked the feeling..
serenity. But somehow rather with what I've gone through, I felt robbed from time to time. That my past has robbed me from my favorite spots, favorite time of day and up to my own secluded space. I feel unsafe. Sometimes when I'm alone, I feel uneasy. As though there's always something wrong somewhere. Like I had to reminisce and pick myself apart and that I can never be fully content. Deep inside I know that I'm just as hollow as I was before and I know fair well that I can never be fully filled again. I dislike this pathetic feeling. This could be a propulsion to an utter self-destruction but no I won't allow it to be as I've worked like hell to feel well so fly away misery and return me my fucking sanctuary.

Alas, creatures.